My Top 5 Forest People Hoaxers

“Hey Rich, did you know that Forest People and Bigfoot are the same thing?”

NO THEY ARE NOT!

I have drawn a clear line in my mind

AND THEREFORE THROUGH EVERYBODY WHO READS MY BLOGS MIND

No one said they can’t be two things right?

Right!

So on the one hand we have the apes or relic hominids species called Bigfoot

On the Other we have the Transdimensionin’, Portal Hoppin’, Sandwhich Eatin’, Mind Speakin’, Telekenesisin’, Beings from God knows where

They are called Forest People

Their researchers/habituators/Clerics have a community that has it’s fair share of hoaxers, much like the Bigfoot community, they are plagued by blurry photos, fish eye trail cam pictures and delusions of grandeur.

Here are my favourites:

———————-Michael Merchant——————-

BWAHAHAHAH! Psycheth!

I’m fucking with ya Merchant!

Ok seriously, here’s my list starter:

——————————Thom Cantrel——————————

Ohhhh SQUEE! Nerdgasm!

Not even gonna spell his name correctly, that’s the level of contempt I hold for this guy

I could write a thousand blogs on this douche, but quite frankly he doesn’t deserve the press

What can I say about a bloke that claims to be 2% Sasquatch?

That the Forest People anointed him “High Priest” Spokesmen for the beings with interdimensional travel!!

That leaves comments like this on facebook:

“The Unwashed”

Classic

Also an I is always in capital

How do we prove he’s hoaxing?

Well the hoaxers vanity always leads them to make one tiny but serious flaw in any elaborate charade they concoct

His is his claim of being 2% Sasquatch

This is impossible to determine since the Forest People genome has yet to be mapped and presumably won’t be because their a sentient being and it would be a dick move to steal their DNA

DO. NOT. COMMENT. ABOUT. THE. KETCHUM. PROJECT

Was a farce

Anywho Gold Star to this dude for being frankly Insane!

—————————-Arla Williams—————————

Another one of the Cantrel school that just annoys me and therefore I won’t blog about them if I can avoid it

This woman pretended to be Native American to sell stuff online right

She has an Invisible Forest Person guide called Indigo, but since she pretended to be Native, I ain’t gonna take her word for shit

We know she pretended because she got in twouble, with the authorities, cos she didn’t have one of them Native American Blood cards, so she couldn’t sell her stuff anymore

Tsk Tsk Arla, haven’t we done enough to the Natives?

Gold Star For Douchebaggery though!

——————Mike Patterson, Sasquatch Ontario—————-

Mmmmmiiiiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeee

Fffffffllllllllllloooooooooowwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr

Fffffffffrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnddddddddddd?

Bwahahahah

Who doesn’t love this guy?

At the heart of his insanity, Sasquatch Ontario posed a fish face in front of a trail cam and called it a Forest Person’s eye

But what he lacks in biological knowledge, he more than makes up for in Imagination!

Used to make sound bytes in a recording studio then play it, pretending to be a real Forest Person communicating with him

Finally got busted out when the owner of the land he was using died, and that guys Son got greedy, Seeing Ontario’s Youtube fame and earnings, he decided he wanted a slice of that and sent Ontario on his way, then outed his hoaxing methods

Shame really

Kinda miss his antics

Gold Star For Hilarity!

————————-Kelly Shaw————————–

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

He Just…. Just..

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

With….. and the….

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA!

Ahhhhhhhh

————————Edward Waterman————————–

Saved the best for last!

OH YOU KNOW IT!

Eddy “The Yogurt” Waterman

Apart from Johnson, he is probably my favorite dude on the internet to pick on

Yes, Yes, Yes, I’m a terrible person, blah blah blah

Claiming to have over Ten Thousand Pictures of cloakin’, stumpin’, shaggin’, miragin’, Forest People

This dude is the Best there is, was and ever will be of the Forest People hoaxers

“But Richard, how can you prove he’s hoaxing? There could really be a 25 foot Forest Person in that picture”

Well the answer to that lies way back way when he uploaded clip shows onto the internet

He accidently uploaded several different shots of the same stump, he had attempted to manipulate them into making it look like something was moving in an earlier shot

However due to his own incompetence, he inadvertently showed how it was in fact him who was moving and nothing else,

The shots were quickly deleted from his portfolio and never spoken of again after this point was made clear to him

But We Remember Waterman

Ya Yogurt!

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Maybe you agree

Maybe you don’t

Maybe my blogs make you so angry you wanna come to England and kick my ass?

Maybe They make you laugh so hard you almost piss yourself?

Love me or Hate me

Thanks for reading!

Stay Happy BigfootLand

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