No blog list of Mustelids would be complete without the Honey Badger
If Otters have the sweetest noise
Ferrets are the most human friendly
Mink are the most adorable
and Wolverines are the most bad ass
Then the Honey Badger sits upon the throne as the most Psychotic
It bears similar resembelence to the North American Badger, small and squat with black and white coloration and a bushy tail. Long curved claws with a snub jawline, it’s not the biggest predator in Africa nor is it more heavily armed then any other
Like most Mustelids it’s pretty much a strict carnivore, primarily a scavenger but will hunt if needs must
One of the most interesting adaptations it has is that’s one of the only mammals I know about that is immune to most snake bites. Where most of us warm-blooded-live-child bearing mofo’s will take a snake bite and either die in screaming agony or survive in screaming agony. The Honey Badger (once bitten by a snake of course) Will simply take a 10 minute nap, leaving the bewildered Reptillian to live out it’s final moments questioning what the hell it’s up against
Also like other Mustelids it’s incredibly intelligent, it’s virtually impossible to keep them in Captivity without electric fences and armed guards and they can figure out a way past most puzzles in order to get it’s food on
So far doesn’t sound THAT remarkable right? Got a nifty little anti venom thing but apart from that it’s pretty normal Mustelid right? Predatory and intelligent. But! What the Honey Badger lacks in size, strength and agility it more than makes up with quite the talent
Ruthless Aggression
To say the Honey Badger is fearless is an exaggeration obviously, they will run if they have to but more often than not they will stand their ground against anything
Especially us
I’ve read lots of reports, seen loads of documentaries about people that try to tame them and keep them as pets
Doesn’t work
There’s a few of those attention seekers online that always say they can keep them but never show any proof but apart from that I’ve never seen any evidence they can be tamed
There are Conservation groups working tirelessly to keep the Honey Badger from harm that work day in day out with many specimens
Not that the Badger is grateful or anything
There is this one bloke I saw on a documentary, that spent his entire life capturing and relocating problem Honey Badgers, studying them and working with them.
The closest he ever got to taming one was that it tolerated his existence
No Lie
Honey Badgers will stand their ground against Hyenas and even Lions! LIONS!
Don’t get me wrong as someone that keeps Ferrets I can tell you, Mustelids have a serious attitude problem at the best of times
But Honey Badgers have evolved an Attitude that defies problems and moves straight into Catastrophe
They are sweet, cute, capable and amazing predators
But should you find yourself in Africa and staring one down… Run
It is your only hope
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Ramblings of a Schizophrenic Brit 