Don’t get me wrong, Jurassic Park 3 was a terrible fucking movie. It had bad acting, a shitty storyline, Tea Lione and William H Macy. Nuff fucking said. Also had Dinosaurs that didn’t sync up with established lore. It was just plain bad. So for me to say this last installment was worse must give you some indication of how much I despised this movie and I will happily explain to you why it was terrible and why it was worse than the third one.
- It doesn’t make any sense at all. Isla Nublar was carpet bombed with napalm after the first movie, it says so in the fucking book. I know that InGen was all about the genetic manipulation and what not but come on. Twenty years isn’t enough time for a forest to restablish itself or look so old.
- It was boring and predictable and full of bloody cliches that made me cringe.
- They attempted to copy the first movie but did it poorly. Come on two kids lost in the park? Didn’t even last more than a scene or two and wasn’t very gripping.
- What the hell was that shit with the Jeep? 20 years in a tropical climate and a napalm strike isn’t enough to get rid of all fuel and drain the batteries to nothing?
- I know the I. Rex was smart and all but the company would have had a shit load more security measures in place then sending a bunch of guys with guns to try and trap it.
- An Aviary full of Pterosaurs made of glass. Really.
- The I.Rex was born in isolation and given no training whatsoever and yet it spoke fluent Velociraptor and knew exactly what to say to them to turn them around.
- WHY WASNT THE SCRIPT WRITER THAT WROTE THAT FIRED AND THEN KILLED? That could have been such an awesome scene where the Raptors find and trap the I. Rex and then they recapture it. But nooooooo.
- Releasing another huge predatory Dinosaur to deal with an escapee is just a dumbass bullshit idea.
- What the hell was that with the Raptor and the Rex at the end? “Oh I know we tried to kill each other at the end of the first movie but theres just gonna be a bro nod this time and we move on”
- Speaking of Bullshit what the fuck with the Moasaur at the end? Just what the fuck
- The movie has no ending because there is still a huge predatory dinosaur lose in the fucking park at the end
Ah you know what? Fuck it. I’ve already put more thought into this shit storm then they did. What a load of shite
Ramblings of a Schizophrenic Brit 